Beary Good Wishes and a Merry Christmas

"May you always have love to share, health to spare, and friends that care."

I received the above in as part of an email message and just want to include it in here in my little cyber box of treasures. I love collecting positive messages and beautiful images. Its a hobby of mine. Many people collect stamps, model cars, keychains, matchboxes and other collectibles. I like collecting quotes, sayings and other positive messages. Good thing for the internet which allows me to store some of these.

I love the positive message above and the snuggly bear picture that goes with it. Don't you?

Being Happy Quotes

Credit for Image: Betty Press

I haven't been updating this blog. Oops! Its been a month! That means I haven't been practising my positive thinking! Well, actually, I've just been busy updating my blog for mothers. Well then, since I have a little time, I shall do a little positive thinking practise for myself. Here are some quotes about being happy that I particularly like and I want to remember. So better put it here to remind myself.

If you want to be happy, be. ~Leo Tolstoy

The world is full of people looking for spectacular happiness while they snub contentment. ~Doug Larson

We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. ~Frederick Keonig

Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be. ~Abraham Lincoln

The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness. ~Eric Hoffer, The Passionate State of Mind, 1954

After reading all the above quotes, I would like to remind myself that there is never a happier moment than now. There is no need to seek happiness. All you have to do is be happy! Happiness is a choice you can make today. So choose to be happy now. Think happy! Listen to happy music! Be Happy! Love! Laugh! Live!

The Best Six Doctors

Image from Noel.com.my

Found this delightful little Health Quote on Wikiquote. Its just in time too, to remind me to take care of myself and my family better. We're all just recovering from a bout of fever, the sniffles and cough.

Our children's regular paedaetrician was away on holiday and we saw a new one. I must say, I didn't like his approach. He was very commercial. I saw at least 3 children before ours being put on nebulizers and they didn't look as if they needed it. He wanted to put our daughter on it too but we declined. And he also tried to get us to make a follow up appointment to which we said "We'll see". At the end of the visit, we were handed a hefty bill of RM250 for consultation and medicine for two children.

So, its still wiser to use the following best six doctors which are free!

The best six doctors anywhere

And no one can deny it

Are sunshine, water, rest, and air

Exercise and diet.

These six will gladly you attend

If only you are willing

Your mind they'll ease

Your will they'll mend

And charge you not a shilling.

~ Nursery rhyme quoted by Wayne Fields, What the River Knows, 1990

Its the sick season. Seems like everyone is sick. At the workplace, at the malls, the supermarkets, bookshops. Everywhere. You bump into people coughing and sneezing.

Oh, I forgot, lots of people are blogging about being sick too. To those bloggers who are sick, get well soon and remember the best six doctors above!

When One Door Closes Another Will Open

Free Water Lilies Picture sourced from bigfoto.com

This will be happening for me very soon, literally. I've sold my apartment and am busy clearing out all my stuff, packing away boxes of memories. I realise that this place has so many memories for me.

Packing makes me a little sad, a little melancholy. It makes me want to hold on to the place for a while longer. Its a little sad to let go of the place, finally. It is as if holding on to the place gives me a firmer grip on the memories there.

Thats silly because memories will always be with me in my mind and in my heart. My memories do not require a physical place or presence. I do not need to hang on to the physical place to keep my memories intact.

Since I am feeling a little melancholy, it is timely to quote some memory quotes.

It's surprising how much memory is built around things unnoticed at the time. ~ Barbara Kingsolver

Life brings simple pleasures to us every day. It is up to us to make them wonderful memories. ~ Cathy Allen

This post is to remind me to continue to make new sweet memories to be cherised in years to come.

Where did the time go? Spend time with your kids now!

Credit for rainbow image: FreeStockPhotos.com

One of the things you realise when you have children is the fact that they grow up so fast. They go through their development milestones one after another so quickly. And if you miss any of that, you're never going to get back that precious time or moment.

We sometimes find it difficult to balance our work and personal time with family time and time spent with the children but less we forget, I'm posting the quote below to remind us. Time is precious. Time with the children is even more precious. So, we should try to spend our time bonding with them, playing with them and listening to them because.........

“The work will wait while you show the child the rainbow but the rainbow won't wait while you do the work.” ~ Author Unknown

Having said that, I would like to add that work is important because it gives us a roof over our heads but we must be able to strike a balance so that it does not overtake our lives. Its not easy to strike that balance so we have to constantly remind ourselves.

However, housework is unimportant. (Lol! Can you tell I'm a lazy housewife?). To me, housework is never ever more important then time with my kids. The dishes and dirty floor and linen can wait.

"I prefer to have my house with an inch of dust and full of love than to have it spick and span with everyone in it feeling unhappy from the lack of attention." ~ Author MG from Mumsgather

Note: I borrowed the title of this post from an article in the SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration) website. It has a very good article about spending time with your children. Here is an excerpt or paragraph I like...

"You won't want to find yourself looking back, amazed at how quickly it went, and realizing you missed something special. More important, spending time with your child gives you a chance to shape his values. As your child gets older, you can provide a good frame of reference as he is exposed to the growing influence of peers and popular culture. The more time you spend with your child, the more you will be able to help him tune in to his abilities, skill-building activities, and healthy friendships." Read the rest of the article here.

Thought for the day: Give Someone a Smile Today

It takes seventeen muscles to smile and forty-three to frown. Thats what I was teaching my daughter recently in her pre-school science. A smile is the most wonderful thing, yet we don't do it often enough.

The kids do it a lot though. When they first awake, they smile at me. They smile at me when I give them something to eat, play with them, talk to them. Their smiles come so easily to them. And it lights up their little faces and their eyes. Their smiles are real, not pretentious like some of our adult smiles. We must really learn from the children. A real smile lights up the face and the whole expression. It makes the person you are smiling at want to smile back.

So try smiling today. Smile at the hassled counter service people, the cashier, the waitress, people you know, people you don't. Smile at your spouse, your children, your friend, your co-worker and see what happens. It just might make them feel better but most importantly, it will make YOU feel better. Here are some smile quotes to help you along.

Everytime you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing ~ Mother Teresa

Smile at each other, smile at your wife, smile at your husband, smile at your children, smile at each other - it doesn't matter who it is - and that will help you to grow up in greater love for each other ~ Mother Teresa

You can't avoid office politics so what can you do about it?

I took the above picture one fine morning at the KLCC Aquaria where the shark decided to pause and post for me. It looks menacing don't you think? Well, I think some office workers in today's corporate world look like this or behave like this predator fish even though they may not look like one. (Those that don't look like one outwardly is even more dangerous.)

A friend of mine has been feeling unhappy about the level of office politics going on at his workplace. He feels like he's swimming with the sharks on a day to day basis and often feels drained by the end of the day. So this post is for him, to provide him with some motivation to survive at his workplace environment.

Surviving in the corporate jungle today is really a case of survival of the fittest these days. Everyone is scrambling over each other to get to the top ...... at whatever cost. If you feel like you're being stepped on once too often at the office, here's an excerpt of an article you may find useful.

"If you have more than three people in the office, the politics emerge," says Marilyn Puder-York, an executive coach and author of "The Office Survival Guide: Surefire Techniques for Dealing with Challenging People and Situations."

"Simply put, office politics is the game of the workplace — the people, the culture and the rules that must be learned. That rear-kissing co-worker, the strict dress code, the secretary who supposedly just answers phones but really runs the office."

The author suggest five tips for surviving office politics:

1. Think before you act (or speak).
2. Nurture the stakeholders.
3. Keep enemies close.
4. Imitate the successful.
5. Play the game.

"People, even if they figured out what the politics game is, they avoid it and the worst thing you can do is avoid it," she says. "It will catch up to you, and it will bite you in the rear."

The above is merely an excerpt. Please visit Ashbury Park Press Online to read the full article.
Have you visited the link and read the full article? If you don't want to get bitten in the rear by the shark above, you might just want to try some of the tips.

To my friend, personally, I feel that as long as your own conscience is clear and you don't resort to any backstabbing yourself, you work hard at what you do, maintain your integrity, avoid gossip and ignore the sharks, you should be ok. So cheer up! I leave you with this quote:

“From the backstabbing co-worker to the meddling sister-in-law, you are in charge of how you react to the people and events in your life. You can either give negativity power over your life or you can choose happiness instead. Take control and choose to focus on what is important in your life. Those who cannot live fully often become destroyers of life.” ~ Anais Nin


    

"Little Ones" - A Poem for my babies

Remember that song My Favourite Things by Julie Andrews from The Sound of Music? I like the idea of thinking about my favourite things when I am sad. And my most favourite "things" of all are my precious little babies, my little ones, of course. I write this poem to remind me to be thankful for them when they become more than just a little handful to handle it makes me want to tear my hair out. Lol! Its also a record of this special time I have with them when they are small.

Little Ones

Little arms that hold me tight

so fiercely with all their might

they find me even in the night

making everything feel so right

Little smiles meant just for me

ever ready for me to see

lighting up the room with so much glee

making me feel better, thats a guarantee

Little kisses sweeping over my face

while small arms wrap me in warm embrace

as tiny fingers explore and leave a trace

making sure good feelings are in place

Little hands that reach out for mine

to soothe and comfort when they whine

that precious feeling no one can ever define

making me feel simply divine

My little ones how I adore you

you're so innocent, so pure and true

when I'm with you I can't feel blue

I'll love you till my days are through

Don't Sweat The Small Stuff

I like the "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff" series of books by Richard & Kris Carlson. Just the heading itself speaks to me loudly and clearly. Yet..... I forget easily.

The other day, I did just that. I got annoyed by something hubby said to me on the phone on the way home from work. That got me thinking about how annoying I feel he is sometimes. That got me more annoyed.

And then I started worrying about some unfinished tasks and uncompleted matters and their possible negative outcomes. That got me worrying ceaselessly. I worried about all the "what ifs" that could arise from possible delays or problems.

And then I got annoyed by how everyone these days are so unhelpful. It seemed to me that everyone only cared about themselves and their own welfare. No one seems to want to go out of their way to help others anymore.

And with that, my mood and my day went downhill. The kids started acting up because mommy was not mentally there for them and the poor things became the brunt of my irritations. And of course the hubby was not spared and naturally his mood turned sour too as a result.

And then I was woken up at about 2.45am by baby and I could not go back to sleep till 7am due to my negative feelings of annoyance and irritability. How utterly stupid.

And you know what? By the next day, everything righted itself. My unfinished jobs were completed and other things started moving along the way it should. And I had spent one whole sleepless night for nothing!

I had sweated the small stuff. I allowed little things to get to me. I allowed feelings of irritation, annoyance, unhappiness and worry to envelope me. My whole mood, stance and behaviour reflected my inner feelings. And what I got was a sleepless night and more unhappy people around me. Duh! I must remember that I am in control here! It was how I reacted to circumstances and people that made my day turned out the way it did. I could have easily not allowed my day to turn out badly by changing my own thoughts and mindset.

I shall try to remember this day and these quotes to handle another day like this one better. I'm trying to tell myself something here so most of the quotes say the same thing basically ie its how you choose to react that determines your feelings and eventually your interaction with others and your days.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it empties today of its strength" ~ Corrie ten Boom

"It is the way we react to circumstances that determines our feelings" ~ Dale Carnegie

"The greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions, and not on our circumstances" ~ Martha Washington

"A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes" ~ Hugh Downs

"What happens is not as important as how you react to what happens." ~ Thaddeus Golas

"Do you remember the things you were worrying about a year ago? How did they work out? Didn't you waste a lot of fruitless energy on account of most of them? Didn't most of them turn out all right after all? " ~ Dale Carnegie

     

About marriage and compatibility

Image from HoneymoonCruiseShopper.com

What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility. ~George Levinger

I like the above marriage quote and can identify with it. My husband and I are so different we can hardly be called compatible. We're as different as night and day. He is a morning person, I'm a night owl. He is very organised, I'm terribly disorganised. He loves routine, I'm impulsive. He is meticulous, I am easy going. We like different foods, listen to different music. So opposites really do attract! Although our differences did not become apparent to me immediately when we first met.

To the above quote, I'd like to add that "What counts in making a happy marriage is how you handle your differences, its not about your similiarities." And we do have a lot of differences of opinion in many issues. How we handle those and how we eventually emerge as a couple from handling those differences is really what matters.

Meanwhile, here is another quote which I really would like to practise in my relationship.

Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate. ~Barnett R. Brickner

Just Do It!

Hourglass picture from World of Stock.com

Procrastination is something best put off until tomorrow. ~Gerald Vaughan

I've got tons to do and seemingly so little time to do them. When I keep putting off the tasks I have to do, they snowball and it becomes even more overwhelming.

Today, I am reminding myself to Just Do It! I've got to break down those tasks into small little ones and handle each of them immediately, right now. Just Do It!

Recently, I applied this Just Do It! concept to my weekend and was very pleased with the results. Instead of sitting around doing nothing and being lazy, not knowing what to cook, too lazy to do anything else.

On my Just Do It! Sunday, I woke up, took a brisk morning walk to buy breakfast for the family, then took the kids swimming and dealt with the cleanup immediately afterwards. (The kids had been pestering me to take them swimming but I had been putting it off due to the massive cleanup that is usually required after a swim.) I told myself to Just Do It!

After the swim we took the kids out with us to run some errands. Just Do It! Because of the swim, I had to content with a grouchy spouse whose routine had been broken by the swim. (My spouse loves routine). Just Do It! So it was time to make sure spouse gets some rest by giving him some foot reflexology and at the same time must make sure the children rests too even though all the running around had taken away their nap time. Grouchy spouse and cranky kids can be quite a handful. Just Do It!

At the end of the day, instead of feeling tired and rushed or overwhelmed and lethargic, I felt alive and rejuvenated. So next time, I am lazy, I shall Just Do It! In fact, I've got to get offline now to Just Do It! Just Do all the tasks that are waiting for me to do right now. To name a few.....

• mending blankets and sewing loose buttons
• sorting through some hand-me down outfits I received for the kids which had been lying in the cupboard till they grow taller etc. (Sometimes they lie in the cupboard till they outgrow them!)
• throwing out some junk I hoarded
• normal daily tasks like lessons for my girl
• my daily exercises
• etc etc. theres always something to be done and something new to add to the list (which grows longer and longer the more I procrastinate)

Yes, I'm going to Just Do It! and Just Do It! NOW!

Be Happy NOW!

Lovely Photo from Go World Travel Magazine Article Niagara's River Road - An Autumn Wonder of the World by Guylaine Spencer

They say "Life is A Journey, Not a Destination".

This is a quote I want to remember the next time I sigh and say "I wish............." or on those occassions when I subconciously think "I will be happy when..........."

There's really no better time to be happy then NOW. So I choose to be happy NOW. Being happy NOW means learning to be happy and thankful for the little things in life. Being happy NOW means learning to be happy about everyday things that seem too trivial to matter.

This sentiment is captured so well in this lovely poem I found on the web a while ago. The poem is called "The Station". Go visit the link and I am sure you will find the poem a meaningful read as I did. I'm sharing the link here for your enjoyment and for my reference. I love to collect beautiful things and having a blog is my way of collecting and storing stuff I like in my little cyber filing cabinet.

Have a nice day and remember to be happy NOW! (not tomorrow, next week, next year or after I...........).

Anger Management

Photo courtesy of Wildlife Pictures Online - providing quality wildlife photos from Africa

I've got to learn to control my anger. I get easily riled up and then like a burst dam, everything that is negative spills forth unchecked and uncontrolled. It is not very nice.

I tense up. My breathing becomes laboured. My heart starts to palpitate. My voice changes in pitch, speed and loudness. I tend to speak very fast when I am angry. I don't stop to think of the consequences. And the situation is often made worse by my anger. Sometimes a small thing escalates into something even bigger.

There are times when I was unable to express my anger due to circumstances. During those occassions, I find that things are much more controlled after the anger subsides. Things were later discussed in a calm manner which got better results. Sometimes I find that after the anger subsides theres even no reason for any further discussion ie the anger had no justification to begin with. So thanks to the circumstances I did not get worked up for nothing!

Instead of allowing "circumstances" to control the situation, I will control my anger from now on. Next time I get angry, I will count to 10 and shut my gap and see what happens. I'm going to let go of my anger. I will not let my anger control me, instead, I shall control my anger. So there!

Meanwhile, here's a quote to help me remember that:

"If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow." - Chinese Proverb

Love is Colour Blind, Love is Age Blind

At last Malaysia's very own fairytale wedding of the year is over. I'm talking about none other than then wedding between Malaysia pop-diva Siti Nurhaliza and the no longer mysterious Datuk K.

I don't know whats the big deal about it? I really see no point in speculating about whether she broke up his first marriage and how much they're spending on their wedding blah blah blah... I also feel that the media attention for the wedding is overdone.

I suppose its just the fact that she is a celebrity and he a big time corporate figure that got the media into such a frenzy. Not to mention that the wedding guests were made up mostly of royalty, politicians and celebrities. Plus the fact that he's been married before and is 20 years her senior. Well, so what?

Afterall, Love is Blind they say. And to add to that, I say Love is Colour Blind (as in an inter-racial marriage which we Malaysians are often exposed to) and Love is Age Blind too (as in the case of Siti Nurhaliza Tarudin, 27 and Datuk Khalid Muhamad Jiwa, 47 and lots of other couples)

To me, whats appealing about Siti is her girl next door image. In these days where artistes are banking on sex appeal and sexy outfits to help promote themselves, she has somehow managed to stay pure and true to herself and has been a huge success with her demure and innocent image. She really does look like a sweet doll, one with a powerful singing voice.

I hope that the fairytale wedding has a fairytale ending. I've seen too many grand and lovely weddings with love declarations and poetry go wrong later. However, this is a positive blog so I choose to think about positive thoughts and happy endings instead. ;)

Life is Short, Make it Sweet

I was saddened to read about the demise of this blogger. I was very touched when I read this post of his entitled Make Meaning. He had cancer but he chose to view it as a gift. A gift to reach out to others and make sure others benefit from his experience. If thats not positive thinking then I don't know what is.

His blog has reminded me to look at the bigger picture in life. Sometimes we let ourselves get too easily annoyed by little, everyday things. Is it necessary to get so stressed up over small things? We should just concentrate on the big picture of just being thankful to be alive and healthy. Whenever you get upset over something next time, ask yourself, "Is this going to matter.... one month/one year from now?" If it isn't, forget it and concentrate on other more important things that matter.

May he rest in peace and may his blog continue to live on to touch the hearts of many and to benefit others just as he had wished.

Have You Taken Care Of Your Mind Today?

Photo supplied by FreeFoto.com

We take care of our bodies by exercising and eating right but what about our minds? No doubt exercising and eating right will help our minds but theres still more that we can do for it. Afterall it is the most important organ of all.

Why not take a moment from your busy day to:

• take a deep breath (your abdomen should rise or expand when you breath in and not the other way)
• yawn and stretch
• visualise a relaxing scene or picture in your mind
• listen to soothing music

Its so simple. All it takes is a few moments to rejuvenate ourselves to keep the stress and tension away. Try it. Take care of your mind today.

Max Ehrmann's Desiderata

There is no better way I can think of to start off an inspirational blog than to quote Max Ehrmann's Desiderata as a reminder to us to live a peaceful and calm life in these stormy times.

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.